April 2013
26 posts
25. The Right Thing to Do
Noise, out of the Blue Pierces my ears. Someone is talking Distant. Hazy. Blood loss felt. “Are you okay?” I laugh at that. “No. I can’t recall a time when I was.” It’s the truth, the Honest To god truth. And I can’t even Believe that. But it’s true. “Do you need help?” “Please just let me bleed out.” “It sounds like you...
24. Mercy
No such Mercy Is given to me. After a few Harsher minutes of questions I am pulled into a musky jail cell I am alone. Good. Maybe I’ll bleed out. All is completely Silent For a few minutes with the exception Of my heart beating And slow shallow breaths With the occasional “drip” of blood
23. Why Not
The closest to Medical Attention I get is someone Handing me a wad of gauze To press into my wounds as I am dragged deeper into Below. The effects of blood Loss Haven’t set in quite yet. The soldiers throw me at a chair I climb into it. The room is simple Just a white desk and two chairs The man with “plans” enters and the Soldiers Leave us alone. My stomach drops. He’s not...
22. Violence Begets
I load the revolver with the Bullet In my back pocket Before I end my heartbeat I should leave a message To the Below who are surely coming I even take the time to Deadbolt The door into place and block The knob with the old leader’s Leather chair. I stare at the huge Creamy white wall. My canvas. A small ceremonial Knife Sits on the dead commander’s desk There’s plenty of blood,...
21. The Reason I Am
It’s so different to Kill When you can feel life leaving It’s subtle, like a soft wind Dying off into stillness. A soul making quick escape One is Gone Just to get in here And one military leader Who is about to be gone. Just like me and my bloodline. “You are the Reason.” My voice shakes and the gun wavers “You are the reason I am an orphan. The reason that I broke...
20. Waiting to Fire
The tunnel is long and Winds Downwards hundreds of feet Artificial light guides me forward Into the unknown. How did I plan on finding those I want to kill. My trigger finger Itches, Hovering, waiting for me to Pull the barrel from its safe Lodging in my waist belt. Waiting to fire. Extra bullets jingle Softly In my jacket pocket, except for One, which feels heavy. Silent in my pants’ back...
19. Dear Nimbus
June 17, 2302 Dear Nimbus. I want to start By apologizing. To you and To the families of those I killed Even though they’ll never see this I’m really sorry. It just had to End. The war. The Council. And the Below who ordered The death of civilians. And, lastly, me. I’ve made my Decision And right now, in my back pocket Is a bullet for myself For when I finish my spree Don’t...
18. Into Below
I stare at the Tunnel The entrance to Above That, for 48 hours a week I protect with a rifle And a shooting partner, Nim. DiDi and Joe will See Me go into Below. They won’t try To stop me, they’ll be happy To have me dead But what about Nim? I think of the Letter Sitting on my dining table Waiting for him to read I don’t want to hurt him But all of this has to end somehow
17. Unsanctioned
I climb past Above Families, Having normal days Already forgetting what Massacre happened Only five years ago Some of them have Toddlers Learning how to climb up Above’s bare metal spires How most people get around Since the streets are dangerous I’m not afraid of the Below But I do get strange looks As I walk on the cracked pavement Until most of the people Are in my hindsight And...
16. Without Saying "Love You"
It was finally my Eleventh Birthday. Even though most families In Above don’t celebrate them, we did After simple presents and waffles I was allowed to visit Nim’s house He said he had gotten me Something But refused to tell me what. My impatient preteen mind had To know what it was. I left, In a hurry, without saying,” love you.” The present he got me wasn’t Much. It...
15. Rooms Untouched
Maybe Nim is right, as Usual And I shouldn’t hold a loaded gun on Today of all days But that doesn’t mean I don’t know Where my father kept his gun I stare at the Doors To my sister’s and parents’ rooms Untouched for five years And I feel the slick metal in my palm And I walk out the front door. I am like a loaded Gun. Dangerous and deadly. Teetering on the edge Of...
14. Still Perfect
The sun floats High Up in the sky When I step into The living room Momentarily blinded Steam from my Shower Curls into the sunlight Shimmering and fading I pull the towel tighter Around myself Nimbus put on some Clothes, If you count boxers and A pair of cheap slippers As wearing clothes And for Nim, it counts. Well, not that I Mind. Just because we’re friends Doesn’t mean I can’t Appreciate a...
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13. Broken
“I’m making eggs for Breakfast.” Nim informs me as he Moves into the kitchen Pushing the still-gooey Yellow around in the pan I try to get out of the Bed But Nim says to wait And, after it’s done cooking, Brings the food to me As I finish off my coffee We sit Together On top of the sheets Eating scrambled eggs With our hands And watching the sunrise He pushes the hair from my face. “I Love you,...
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12. Smile
When I wake up, Nimbus Is sitting on the balcony, Coffee cup steaming Glistening wet, Towel obscuring his nakedness And somewhere in me, I Smile. It is the first time in a while And a surprise Considering all that today is And being in this place He comes back Inside Hands me my own coffee And sits on the bed “You’re finally up.” I pull myself into sitting I glance at the already risen Sun, And...
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11. Welcome Distraction
I toss my keys on the Floor And lean against the wall Sighing out the Building pressure that has Taken root in my chest Nim kisses the back of my Neck And I know what he wants A welcome distraction For both of us and The chance to feel close To someone, Anyone A new distraction Of the carnal nature Flesh to flesh Lips to lips An unspoken Agreement Between us, that no one knows We do this That,...
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10. Time To Go Home
And it’s finally Time To go home To my lonely apartment Filled with ghosts Of my dead family The next shift is Starting I can already see Jovanna and Celene about To come on to the platform To watch the night Which is almost always Less Eventful than it is For me and Nimbus Despite the fact That Nim and I split shifts I don’t know if it’s Safe For him to climb He got a few hours rest But he still...
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9. Never Letting Go
After the storm Passes Nimbus must decide I’m mentally stable again Because he passes the rifle back And falls asleep on my shoulder But the entire time, One Hand is holding mine Reminding me that he’s here And even when unconscious He’s never letting go It’s hard sometimes, not to Wonder If Nimbus thinks that we’re… More than what we are But we agreed before we started Anything at all But then...
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8. Wouldn't be That Bad
The rain that is still Pounding Down on the open air platform Slowly soaking through my clothes Apparently, those black clouds Held more than my mood. Lightning is slowly Crackling Across the rising sun Hidden by the storm Thunder underscored By howling winds Maybe it isn’t Safe To stay up here Out in the open air But it’s better than going down there And hey, death wouldn’t be that bad
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7. Home
I feel the Pressure Of Nim’s icy hand Sitting quietly in mine And watch him, barely awake As he does my job, watches Below “You should go Home.” I tell him gently. “It isn’t your shift now I can manage by myself. You should really rest.” “I can’t go Home, If I ever had such a place. My mother is too Much to deal with Right now.” He’s most likely Correct. Not to sound horrible, But his mother is...
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6. Go Back Now
And anyways, it isn’t like They Can go back on their decision Now, being dead for Five years, tomorrow. And my sister too. My little sister, Azure Who was only six When she was killed My whole family killed Five years ago, by the Below Which is why I ever agreed to Do What I do, now I am the bloody vengeance For pacifist parents And my six year old sister
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5. Close
It feels so Natural To be this close to Nim Feel his hand on mine, So much colder than my own Shaking as much as my psyche There is nothing close to Romantic Between us at all, I don’t think. But we are more than friends On a different level from that. An odd, invented type of love That, has, in the past, been Physical And he is my best, only friend But it is different From the fiery passion I am...
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4. Always Shocked
I stare ahead, always Shocked. Fifty five is a Very big number Even in this trade, It is a big number, for my age. “I remember, when it was Zero. Before we turned fourteen. When the weight of Murder didn’t rest heavy On our spines.” I think about what he said. I Speak. “I never dreamed I would Be turning sixteen With the blood of fifty five deaths Slipping through my hands.” “No one dreams for...
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3. Lost in My Thoughts
Lost in my thoughts, I Almost Miss the dark shape Bobbing out from Below Obscured by pre-dawn Not hidden from my bullet One shot, right to the Head For the second time This week alone You can practically feel your Humanity slipping away I try to contain my Tears Nim, still resting on me Knows me too well, Pulls the rifle from My shaking hands “It’s okay,” he Promises “You are okay.” I try to...
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2. Don't You Need to Sleep?
“Don’t you need to Sleep?” He tells me that Sleep is no refuge It is just life, magnified In escape less nightmares Death, he tells me is the Closest People like us Will ever get to rest And that will come eventually But, now, others need us “Who needs Me?” My question hangs in The space between us “My family is gone. And I’m not very friendly.” “Strata. I need You.” It’s probably true. We tether...
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1. I am Death
I am death A shadow Hanging above heads Ignoring While they know I am here It is a thankless job A soldier Unseen by those I fight for The battle front known by Just me and Nim Just by me and my Best friend… If you had an arranged marriage With your best friend Would you smile Or scream? I want to do Both But that doesn’t Matter right now Right now I’m climbing Into the clouds The clouds that,...
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Hey!
So this is my book (a work in progress, obviously…) I appreciate any comments/constructive criticism!
Without further ramblings, let’s get started!
